Today marks the one month anniversary of the day we met Callie in China, and already we can't picture our family without her. Her English is growing by leaps and bounds, and her attachment to us is growing as well. Last week I was going to the school to do a little work in my classroom and I took the girls to the sitter, thinking that Callie would be fine since she has never shown any signs of having issues with us coming or going. WRONG! She began crying hysterically and clinging to me as though her life depended on it, upsetting the babysitter but making this Mommy just a bit happy that she is beginning to form an attachment and she does care if I leave. It was the first time I had ever seen her cry, and while it broke my heart to see her so upset, I did take it as a good sign of her growing attachment. I ended up taking her with me, leaving Maili at the sitter just so that Callie would see that we would come back to get her and she would be fine. We did visit the sitter a couple more times just to make sure she knew it was ok to be there, but I stayed there both times and didn't leave.
We went to church Sunday for the first time since coming home, and Callie went into her class holding Maili's hand with no problem. Of course, we had to explain to the Sunday school teacher that no, she did not belong in the preschool class down the hall, but once they understood that she was indeed in the right class and that they could come and get us if she became upset, everything was fine. She was all smiles when we came back to get her, and the teachers reported that she participated in class and seemed to enjoy herself.
She is finally beginning to grieve the loss of all she has known, and while it is sad to see, it does mean that she is comfortable enough with us to let her feelings out. Last night when I went upstairs with her to put her to bed, she suddenly began to get tears in her eyes, and for over half an hour she sobbed, not saying a word. We moved to the rocking chair and she just put her head on my shoulder and clung to me while she cried and I rocked. I never said a word to her but just held her and sang softly to her, until her cries turned into a whimper and her whimper turned into her humming along. Eventually she gave me a hug and said " I love you, Mommy" and then went and got in her bed, giving me a few more hugs and kisses than usual.
Callie went to her cardiology workup yesterday and did awesome. She was very cooperative with the doctors who examined her, there were 4 in all. Evidently she has a rather interesting anatomy and they wanted to show all their friends. For those who don't know, she has dextrocardia, which means that her heart is on the right side of her body instead of the left. Apparently that makes for very exciting viewing on an EKG, judging from all of the doctors crowding around. The results of the EKG were pretty inconclusive. According to the records we received from China, we were told that she has a 17mm VSD and a smaller ASD. Amazingly, they found no sign of the VSD, although they did note that it is unusual for one that size to close on its own. They were somewhat concerned about her high pulmonary pressures because they were unable to determine what was causing her pressures to be high. They have scheduled a cardiac catheterization in order to get a better picture of what is going on with her heart. They weren't able to see all of the arteries going to her heart due to its unusual position. Hopefully we will find out within the next couple of weeks what is going on and what are her options for treatment. In the meantime, she has been cleared by the doctors to begin school, so she will start kindergarten next week. Already she has a pretty good grasp on many of the skills she will need for kindergarten, and I have no doubt she will catch up quickly. She has a very impressive sign language vocabulary (thanks to her obsession with watching Signing Time videos over and over ) and her English vocabulary is growing daily. We had been a bit concerned that she might pick up some of Maili's speech patterns since they spend so much time together, but so far that has not been the case. Maili's language and vocabulary are excellent, but her articulation still leaves much to be desired. She had oral surgery yesterday to remove two baby teeth that were impacted, leaving her with only two on each side in the top of her mouth. Her lack of teeth is definitely impacting her speech production, but hopefully her new ones will come in soon and it will improve. In the meantime, we have caught Callie acting as her translator! Yesterday Jamie had Maili repeat a word over and over because he had no idea what she was trying to say. Finally, Callie blurted out the correct word quite clearly and he was able to understand. She's always looking out for her big sister. She even picks out an extra sticker every time she goes to the doctor so that she can bring one home for Maili. They truly love being together and it is rare to see one without the other at home. I know that "virtual twinning" is a controversial subject and often frowned upon in adoption circles, but it has certainly worked out well for us so far and we can only hope that they always stay as close as they are right now. Maili has a sparkle about her that wasn't there before; I don't know how to describe it except to say it's as though she is finally at peace. For the past year or so it has been obvious that she's become aware that she looks different from the rest of our family and that difference bothered her. Now she is so happy to have someone who "look like me" as she says. She is always very attuned to how Callie must be feeling, I'm pretty sure she must be remembering her own adoption experience at times. The day Callie got upset at the babysitters house, she told me that Callie was upset because she didn't know yet that Mommy would always come back. Pretty insightful for a six year old, but maybe not for one who has been there, done that.